ha ha

TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North
America.
GEORGE: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered
America?
CLASS: George

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TEACHER: Willy, name one important thing we
have today that we didn't
have ten years ago.
WILLY: Me!


****************************
SUBSTITUTE TEACHER: Are you chewing gum?
BILLY: No, I'm Billy Anderson.


****************************
TEACHER: Didn't you promise to behave?
STUDENT: Yes, Sir.
TEACHER: And didn't I promise to punish you if
you didn't?
STUDENT: Yes, Sir, but since I broke my
promise, I don't expect you to
keep yours.


****************************
TEACHER: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty?
TOMMY: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground
than you are.


****************************
HAROLD: Teacher, would you punish me for
something I didn't do?
TEACHER: Of course not.
HAROLD: Good, because I didn't do my homework.


****************************
TEACHER: Why are you late?
WEBSTER: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
WEBSTER: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go
Slow."


****************************
TEACHER: I hope I didn't see you looking at
Don's paper.
JOHN: I hope you didn't either.


****************************
GARY: I don't think I deserve a zero on this
test.
TEACHER: I agree, but it's the lowest mark I
can give you.


****************************
MOTHER: Why did you get such a low mark on that
test?
JUNIOR: Because of absence.
MOTHER: You mean you were absent on the day of
the test?
JUNIOR: No, but the kid who sits next to me
was.


****************************
SILVIA: Dad, can you write in the dark?
FATHER: I think so. What do you want me to
write?
SYLVIA: Your name on this report card.


****************************
TEACHER: Well, at least there's one thing I can
say about your son.
FATHER: What's that?
TEACHER: With grades like these, he couldn't be
cheating.


****************************
TEACHER: In this box, I have a 10-foot snake.
SAMMY: You can't fool me, Teacher... snakes
don't have feet.


****************************
HYGIENE TEACHER: How can you prevent diseases
caused by biting insects?
JOSE: Don't bite any.


****************************
TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting
with "I".
ELLEN: I is...
TEACHER: No, Ellen. Always say, "I am."
ELLEN: All right... "I am the ninth letter of
the alphabet."


****************************
TEACHER: Max, use "defeat," "defense," and
"detail" in a sentence.
MAX: The rabbit cut across the field, and
defeat went over defense
beforedetail.


****************************
MOTHER: Why on earth did you swallow the money
I gave you?
JUNIOR : You said it was my lunch money.


****************************
TEACHER: If you received $10 from 10 people,
what would you get?
SASHA: A new bike.


****************************
TEACHER: If you had one dollar and you asked
your father for another,
howmany dollars would you have?
VINCENT: One dollar.
TEACHER(sadly): You don't know your arithmetic.
VINCENT(sadly): You don't know my father.


****************************
TEACHER: If I had seven oranges in onehand and
eight oranges in the
other,what would I have?
CLASS COMEDIAN: Big hands!
****************************